420 ftw
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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