Umm I'm too high to move.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
