i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
