there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize