I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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