The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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