he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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