Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dear god my vagina.
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