we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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