My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
