i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
