: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Will you blow on my dice?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
