I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
