I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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