Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize