dude i'm inner monologue high
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
