i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
