Soap is not a condiment
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
