Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
