A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize