i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
