Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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