Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it hurts more in the daytime
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize