Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
