Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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