I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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