no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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