Moan for me like Helen Keller
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
