Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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