Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had to cum in my sink.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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