You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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