Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize