And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
