I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I need to stop coming to work sober
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
