My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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