Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
