Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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