return my video game
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
