Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
