I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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