The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
