franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
