After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
