You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize