the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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