I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
