I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
