My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
