please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there's paper in my vomit.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
