i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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