he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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