Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if only i could text you this smell
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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