hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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