I looked at my own cervix.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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