Sponge bath it is.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
