Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
