Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
