Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
