You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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