KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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