Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
