Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
