i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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