My hand turned me down
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize