so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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