3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
