You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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