Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
