When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
