obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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