i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
