I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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