rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
