I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Farmville is her only friend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
