My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
