There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
